Source: A night of drunken foolishness
A long walk
I have been a thinking and imaging to be a writer for as long as I remember. I have been identified as a writer. That’s what I have always been proud of that I am writer. Somewhere in growing up I stopped writing and writing become hard. Of course a talent can not be lost, it is a gift that one has been given by God. I will to write and I promise to be a success. Look out for my name in those bookstores. Going to make to the bestsellers list.
Voicemail
‘Leave a message”
-I know its late and I figured U wouldnt answer. Part of me thought that she would pick up, saw my number in your call log, while U slept or was in the shower. Maybe it took its toll and made her decide to confront me…whatever. Look, i dont have a lot of time and Im not callin back. Dont call me no more. I cant take this, “U and me friend shit.” U used to know me. Every part of me. U dont now. Didnt notice how I cry when I hear your voice on the phone? How I pause when U say u miss me so? I cant take it! I fight myself not to call, this female emo shit that bugs me. Who r U to have this hold on me? What day was it that i allowed U to have me completely? U…
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I am predestined!
I know better now
If you could just look back
Turn back the hands of time
I believe you would do it differently
I believe it was not your intention to hurt me
Its my fault that I’m just too gullible
I know that you have a heart
Yes it took time to get here
Where I am able to say its okay
Yes I still cry about it at times
But I now understand
That maybe the hurt would be more serve
Had we kept going
Without a map or compass to guide our steps
I hated you for a while but I never really hated you
I was just surpassing all the pain using anger
Glad I let that go
It was too heavy to bear
Hating the one whom was able to make my mouth curve
I am now able to associate your name with good things
I know that you didn’t want to hurt me
And that it just happened but I hope that
Just as I learned
You have learned to never use your words
As an opener to open up hearts
And then leave them opened but unfilled
Not everyone is going to be so forgiving
You were lucky that I am scared of blood
Or you would be having scars
To resemble the ones on my heart
Maybe I am that over it yet
I am heading there
Give me time
I will get there
I am on the right path
25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25
Painful Conversations
Lay quiet
Lay still
so the pain doesn’t come.
Don’t breathe
a sound
or an invitation.
Dear Pain,
I’m sorry
but, I think we should break up.
It’s not me,
it’s just you
and, I’ve had more than enough.
Dear Sam,
Nice try,
but, I am going nowhere.
No way.
No how.
Not on wings or a prayer.
Just then
warm winds
whispered words from the past
“Just wait
Hold on
and, this too shall pass.”
~smj
– Details In The Fabric, by Jason Mraz Feat. James Morrison
Incomplete Thoughts
I don’t know whether I’m too sweet or people just think they can walk all over me and maybe I let them.
I mean I laugh everything away, I take things lightly. I feel like I give people the power to hurt me because I care completely about the people around me.
I have this notion that everything that’s happens to you happens for a reason(maybe its my church upbringing that has lead me to think that or it could be that house song). So if everything happens for a reason I have to ask what exactly is that reason. I think if I knew the reason to why something happens to me it might lead me to understand the purpose behind it.
I recently got a wake up call. I have always been passing my modules with a few hassles here and there but I would never fail even the hardest test because I am a hard worker. I always want to achieve the best results(a trait I get from my day). A wrote my first semester test for Business Law for the 2nd semester, I remember the feeling I had after writing that paper I was disappointed in myself because I knew I hadn’t done my best whatsoever. I got my test back few days ago and I literally wanted to cry. I got just below 50% and all I felt was disappointment I felt like a failure. I thought about how I handle the studying for the paper and realised I wasn’t serious enough I took the module for granted and that’s wasn’t clever of me. So yes I got a wake up call… Do you want to know what that call said? Its said” Kabie you are smarter than this, you can do better than this, why are you putting yourself down? Raise up and work hard to claim the prize that you deserve which is a Diploma in Marketing in 3 years nothing more than that.
Women
August is women’s month.
Which has lead me to think about the women in my life that have done so much for me and mean the world to me. My grandmother is the women that raised since I was an infant until I was 6 years old. She has taught to respect everyone I come across and she has also taught me discipline even though sometime I make mistake I still have it instilled in me. My aunts have always been people I turn to when things go wrong, I grow up around them, I think that’s why I took my late aunt’s death so hard. I just never knew a world where she wasn’t in it, still miss her. I miss just laughing with her. My other aunt is also a just a joy to be around hey, she just makes me laugh and she is honestly like a mother to me. I respect her like my mother, laugh with her like my sister and talk to her like my friend. A women more special to me like no other is my mother wow this is woman is wonderful hey. The things she has done for me I don’t even think I can ever repay her but I will work my whole life to do so. She has taught to be independent and she has taught that no problem is too hugh for God to handle, she taught me to pray. I love all these women because they have taught me so much and they are the reason I am the young women I am. I am thankful and humbled to have them in my life.
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