I know better now

If you could just look back

Turn back the hands of time

I believe you would do it differently

I believe it was not your intention to hurt me

Its my fault that I’m just too gullible 

I know that you have a heart

Yes it took time to get here

Where I am able to say its okay

Yes I still cry about it at times

But I now understand

That maybe the hurt would be more serve 

Had we kept going

Without a map or compass to guide our steps

I hated you for a while but I never really hated you 
I was just surpassing all the pain using anger

Glad I let that go

It was too heavy to bear

Hating the one whom was able to make my mouth curve

I am now able to associate your name with good things

I know that you didn’t want to hurt me

And that it just happened but I hope that

Just as I learned 

You have learned to never use your words

As an opener to open up hearts

And then leave them opened but unfilled

Not everyone is going to be so forgiving

You were lucky that I am scared of blood

Or you would be having scars

To resemble the ones on my heart

Maybe I am that over it yet

I am heading there

Give me time

I will get there

I am on the right path

 

Incomplete Thoughts

I don’t know whether I’m too sweet or people just think they can walk all over me and maybe I let them.
I mean I laugh everything away, I take things lightly. I feel like I give people the power to hurt me because I care completely about the people around me.

I have this notion that everything that’s happens to you happens for a reason(maybe its my church upbringing that has lead me to think that or it could be that house song). So if everything happens for a reason I have to ask what exactly is that reason. I think if I knew the reason to why something happens to me it might lead me to understand the purpose behind it.

I recently got a wake up call. I have always been passing my modules with a few hassles here and there but I would never fail even the hardest test because I am a hard worker. I always want to achieve the best results(a trait I get from my day). A wrote my first semester test for Business Law for the 2nd semester, I remember the feeling I had after writing that paper I was disappointed in myself because I knew I hadn’t done my best whatsoever. I got my test back few days ago and I literally wanted to cry. I got just below 50% and all I felt was disappointment I felt like a failure. I thought about how I handle the studying for the paper and realised I wasn’t serious enough I took the module for granted and that’s wasn’t clever of me. So yes I got a wake up call… Do you want to know what that call said? Its said” Kabie you are smarter than this, you can do better than this, why are you putting yourself down? Raise up and work hard to claim the prize that you deserve which is a Diploma in Marketing in 3 years nothing more than that.

Women

August is women’s month.

Which has lead me to think about the women in my life that have done so much for me and mean the world to me. My grandmother is the women that raised since I was an infant until I was 6 years old. She has taught to respect everyone I come across and she has also taught me discipline even though sometime I make mistake I still have it instilled in me. My aunts have always been people I turn to when things go wrong, I grow up around them, I think that’s why I took my late aunt’s death so hard. I just never knew a world where she wasn’t in it, still miss her. I miss just laughing with her. My other aunt is also a just a joy to be around hey, she just makes me laugh and she is honestly like a mother to me. I respect her like my mother, laugh with her like my sister and talk to her like my friend. A women more special to me like no other is my mother wow this is woman is wonderful hey. The things she has done for me I don’t even think I can ever repay her but I will work my whole life to do so. She has taught to be independent and she has taught that no problem is too hugh for God to handle, she taught me to pray. I love all these women because they have taught me so much and they are the reason I am the young women I am. I am thankful and humbled to have them in my life.